| Regina, my future and the blank page |
I can't remember the last time I was on this site. The truth is, my life is so uninteresting that even being here now after not posting for over a month (probably more)I can't really think of anything interesting to say.
Well, I'm attempting (rather unsuccessfully, but that's neither here nor there) to write a play to be submitted to the Sears Drama Festival. I hate writer's block. It's just so inconvenient. I have a good thing going and then my mind just goes blank and all my ideas are gone like a puff of smoke. On another note, I must say that I love Regina Spektor. She is a singer/songwriter who mixes a strong knowledge of music with a considerable amount of quirk. Her music just is adorable and touching and fun and moving and distracting and focused and crazy all at once. It makes sense in that abstract way that anything truly important makes sense. Go listen to her. On a more personal note, I'm having trouble deciding on a future. People keep telling me to take it one step at a time, but I just can't take it one step at a time. One decision leads to another, one part of my future is inevitably connected to another. Choosing courses leads to choosing schools which leads to choosing jobs which leads to making money which leads to choosing houses and getting married (maybe) which leads to deciding whether or not to have a family (probably at least partially based on how much money I am making at said job) and say I do have children that leads to finding schools and enough money for their needs and then universities for them and saving for retirement and then actually retiring (hopefully) and then dying. So you see how my entire life is based on which courses I choose for next year. no pressure, eh? I realize this is a bit of an exaggeration, but you see where I'm going with this. Maybe it's just my nature. I always seem to worry about things far off. Well, someone has to. I just don't know what, if anything, I'm good at anymore. I don't even know what I like to do anymore. Everything seems to flow into each other. Except math. Math doesn't flow. I hate math.
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