| PG wants to love and be loved in return |
I am constantly imagining that I am someone else, that my life is something else. I sit there and wish that I could be anything but what and who I am. I wish I had someone to tell all my secrets to, to bitch to, to fight with and know that they will forgive me, to give me a shoulder to cry on when I'm sad, to look into my eyes and see my soul, to hug me and make all my problams go away, to love me unconditionally. I suppose that's what we all want. Everyone is after love. So, if we all want it, why is it so hard to find? I think that if I were prettier or smarter or funnier or more innocent ormore extroverted or more open or quieter or more of a pushover or less of a pushover or cuter or skinner or blonder or sweeter or wilder or had bigger boobs or more reserved, maybe somebody would love me. I see so many people in love and I can't help but wonder, "why not me?" Why do they deserve it more than I do? What did I do to make me
ineligible for love? Why should they have someone and I be alone? Will I ever have what they have, or will I die alone, not knowing what I did to deserve such a fate? Why am I denied the one thing I want most in the world? I hate myself for not being able to get somebody to fall for me. I want to punish myself for not being good enough to attain something that others seem to find to easily. I want love, I want to be happy, I want to know that somebody else needs me, I want to need someone else. I want to share my heart with someone, anyone. If I sound desperate, thats because I am. "I could love so well if I only had the chance." Being alone is worse than being heartbroken, hands down. I wish I was anywhere but here. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. ~PenguinGirl wants to love and be loved in return |
