| PG is relieved and learned |
It is the biggest relief of my life. I got the first full-night's sleep since she told me, last night. I am so...relieved isn't a strong enough word. I was worried sick (litterally). I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling except for maybe pride. Pride, that she is trying to move on and I know that it must be so difficult, but at least shes trying. Which is more than I can say for some people. I love Will and Alisa for keeping her going. I know I haven't ben there as much as I should and I'm sorry for that.
On another note, I'm so tired and stressed and i don't know. I think I might need to see a counsellor. I'm going to ask Bernice for the card of the company that her person works for, when she wakes up. The scars are starting to fade, but they're still really conspicuous. I guess thats how they should be. A reminder of who I was and what I did. It's funny, that person from last year seems to far away. How I felt...it seems so unreal. Thinking about everything that happend seems almost like a dream, or like a memory of a movie that I once watched. I've been pushing the events away, pretending that they didn't happen, but they did. Its odd, I feel like I didn't do those things. It wasn't me, yet I am still dealing with the consequences of my actions. I still don't know the whole story, though it is coming out in bits and pieces. I am learing that some people whom I put the utmost trust into weren't trustworthy in the least. I am also learning that forgivness, when it is real, can be the most wonderful thing in the world. I have learned that just because someone was one of your closeest friends, is no guarentee that they'll remember that fact. The most important thing that I've learned is that life sucks sometimes, but if you let yourself get caught up in the bad stuff, you'll be too busy to notice all the good stuff and believe me its out there. There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. ~PenguinGirl is relieved and learned |
