| PG is not a happy camper |
Well, in true Sarah fashion I have grown quite infatuated again. Well, thats just fabulous. Its just fucking great. Its not as if I could say anything. I am not the girlfriend type of girl....or even the date type of girl, am I? I am the type of girl that guys will talk to cause i say and do some entertaining things, but I am far too unattractive to ever consider going out with. Even if I was gorgeous, I'm not so great at the actual flirting/being charming in any way shape or form thing. I am so afraid of being shot down, of being vulnerable in front of others that I pretend to be outgoing and outrageous to hide the fact that I am really scared. I don't know. Some girls have it all, beauty, charm, a sense of humor that doesn't require bottom dweller faces.... No, its not fair, but there you have it. Theres no use in complaining. I'll just suck it up and stop with the pity party...its unbecoming.
Drama is coming along really well, everytime we do the scene all I can think is, "God this is going to be AMAZING!!". Science, English and French (ironically my three best/favorite courses last year) are not coming along so great. I don't know, I've never really had any trouble in French, it was just one of those courses that I could use to bring up my average, but now...its all too real. Its challenging me for the first time. I kind of wish that I could transfer back to academic, but its too late now. The no penalty course drop date was yesterday. Exams are in a week or two and to be frank I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Science.....ugh, where to begin? Physics makes absolutely NO sense to me. I always think I get it, but when I get my tests back, its clear that I don't. English....I'm just REALLY behind on the reading and the symbolizm (something that I usually pick up on right away) is completely lost on me. I don't know. At least I can take comfort in the fact that tomorrow is a half-day and the only two classes I will have to go to will be drama (score) and vocal (double score). Vocal has become a bit of a snooze, especially since we are no longer working on vocal solos, but its a breeze and after so many courses in which I'm struggling to understand and keep up, its nice to know that I can breeze through the theory and just sing. Its nice to know that I'm getting the top mark in the class in SOMETHING. I really do love to sing & act. I cannot WAIT for musical theatre. ~PenguinGirl is not a happy camper |
